Save me.......

To make you all happy means sacrificing myself?
maybe I can do it for a period of time..but now...
Im tumbling down already =(

I told you before how I felt
but the decision you made didnt make things much easier for me..

You made me feel afraid..
not safe..
worried all the time..

I wanted to tell him everything
but will this affect us??
I dont know that..
and I never wanted to risk it again..

I feel like Im strangling myself..
I cant breath..
having nightmares about it..
Wake up first thing in the morning it came through my mind..
arghhh....
*tears*

I just want things to be normal again..
Someone please help me???

Downpour

I been walking around
Inside a haze
Between the lines of reason
Hiding from the ghost
Of yesterday
Feels like I'm barely breathing


I,I wanna feel the rain again
I,I wanna feel the water on my skin
And let it all just wash away
In a downpour
I wanna feel the rain
Feel the rain


I've been losin days
The shades pulled down
I still can't face the sun


But I,I'm goin crazy
I can't stay here
I've gone completely numb
I just wanna need someone

I wanna feel the rain

I hate you always taking control of stuff...
especially my feelings..
How long you still want me to suffer in this hell that you put me in??
Can just let me go.....?

Quite playing with my heart...
stop making those tears fall for you..
don make the heart crumble like a piece of paper..
Cause after the paper has crumbled no matter how much you try to smoothen it....
there still will be marks on it...

Stop it please....

Son of a bitch -.-

Sometimes in life..
we cant take things for granted..
cause the one that you love, that you thought will be the one holding your hands forever ;
your best friend, the one you thought will be there supporting you and hearing all your sorrows
will just leave you with no reasons..
maybe its cause of something or somebody..

Cause they are the ones who know you better than anyone or even yourself
but yet are the easiest to be blind folded by people's words..

When they start to not believing you and start finding excuses to avoid you
there is no way to turn back and make yourself clean from the accusation..
Everything will be too late..

If you started of with faith it eventually will fall apart
no matter how strong is your relationship or even friendship..
they wont even buy it if you say you were trying to fix the problem
cause now all they see is you as the pain in the ass..

How sad is this life when both sides leave you for something that is not true..
fairy tales and movie usually have good endings with the bad guys ended up dead
but those are in fairy tales
which are not applied in real life..
the truth and justice wont just appear like that..

The truth is
the more you try to make things right and clear your name
the more people hates you..
and the one you love will hurt even more..

I myself now still doesnt have the courage to cross over..
the problem still hunts me..
the scar will never fade..
the accusation..the betray...
its still there...

TIRED.....=(

Stopped blogging for sometime le..
but there are things I couldnt say it out and I know keeping it inside is not good..

Haiz..
after so long more troubles came looking..
My saviour is here yet there is not much can be done to solve everything
Cause of you made me felt cheating I took a step back and hurt the one who loves me..
Now with courage I stepped in
Why am I still feeling guilt?

Asking wont help
Knowing that maybe you never felt guilt in your life..

Why all those fakings??
You told me this yet why everything I see is telling the different story?
How hurt and felt used is that?
You never knew...

A friend said " I think they do feel guilt but they are just to selfish and only thinking for themselves "
Is that so? I thought to myself..
Maybe is true but Im not you..or you..so I dont know..

When can this stop?
Looking at the pictures everything makes me tired and angry
I wish I can tell you everything
But will it help to solve the problem?

Trying to help people and making myself feeling guilty all the time makes me tired..
I tired.....
really tired.....
please just end it.......

Heart Breaker....

北風毫不留情 把葉子吹落 脆弱的她選擇了逃脫
葉子失去消息 風才感覺寂寞 整個冬天
北風的痛沒人能說
那個故事背後 原來是.......

Dont even know how to express my feelings
so complicated...so dark...
I seriously dont even know what I want..
and got tired of it..

sadly I cant avoid the problems and feelings rushing through me
the pain kills..

I get comforts but I still cant lie that Im not feeling much better
maybe at that particular time I do
guess its just too much...

Had a conversation with a fren not long ago
telling her everything makes me scare even more..

It irritates me sometimes cause I know what said
is not going to last forever
Bullshit...yes all is bullshit..
How long can it last
one day?
One week?

Everything now looks so fake right?
what ever your doing now really doesnt make any difference from others.

when will my saviour be here to take this pain away??
very tiring facing the problems that I cant make it disappear...

Study IN hell

The time now is 12am++
and I am still very awake doing my killer add maths homework
my brain cant seem to work properly tonight and it doesnt feel
cause even the simplest question I also have to ask people
I am not dumb ok??!

haiz..just that alot of thing going on
in my mind that made me cant really focus..
and I blame it on you lo..
sien de ler...

Just because of that one ppl
that useless ppl
haduh..mai ane la..
you not tired people will la
sheese~

Why want care so much??
nevermind la..
Im loving the one I have now...^^

Mock exam coming in less than 3weeks lo
kin tio kin tio..
but cant study well..
even sien..=.=

Im writing this post in angry mood de
but then now frustrated liao...
can anyone help onot???